ISLAMIC GUIDE TO
THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
Alahazrat Mujaddid Imam
Ahmad Raza (Alaihe Rahmah Walridwan)
1. ISLAM AND THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
2. THREE PHASES OF HUMAN EXISTENCE
3. SADQA - E - JARIYAH
4. GOOD TREATMENT OF GIRLS
5. ISLAMIC GUIDE TO THE UPBRINGING OF
6. FEW RIGHTS OF GIRLS ONLY
ISLAM AND THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
In order to establish and maintain the transformation brought about by Islam in
our present day society, the very first step we have to take is to examine
whether as Muslims to what extent our own lives are based on the Straight Path
as defined in the Holy Quran or how far are we from these noble teachings. It
is true that half off a person is overcome when the doctor makes a correct
diagnosis. However, diagnosis alone is no cure for the problem. It is the
incumbent duty of the Muslim to light lamps of guidance to obliterate the
darkness of ignorance in order to salvage humanity from its blind imitation of
sensual material world.
Before this can be achieved it is important
that one should design one's own life and those of one's family members on the
beautiful teachings of
Islam. In this regard the most important concern should be the upbringing of
our children on sound Islamic principles. Once our foundation is strong and
unshakable a ray of hope can be expected for a better future. If our children
can be brought up in the atmosphere of Allah-consciousness then only can we
hope to produce the Khalid bin Walid and Tariq bin Ziyad of their time. On the
contrary if these young unspoilt children are left to roam freely in the evil
atmosphere of the present day social ills then these very children are going to
become the cause of our future doom.
THREE PHASES OF HUMAN EXISTENCE
A life of any human is divided into three distinct phases: childhood,
adolescence and old age. Of these childhood plays the most important role in
shaping the character. Generally this is the period when the children can
easily be swallowed by the outer glitter of this world and they are unable to
distinguish between good and evil, between right and wrong and between
religious and irreligious deeds. As soon as he steps into adolescence he is
now focused on the pursuit of comfort and vain-glory, while old age brings
about recollection and realisation of the past. Those whose lives are empty of
Islam and faith, those who believe the material achievements is everything in
life, are destroying their lives and are foolishly roaming in this make belief
world of theirs. All that glitters is not gold, is a well known saying that is
there to remind us of this fantasy. Hazrat Zun-Nun Misri (May Allah be pleased
with him) says: Oh people! Acquire the gifts of this world but do not hanker
after its glitter in a frenzy.
Gather from it the
provisions of the Hereafter, for your actual abode is elsewhere. The Holy
Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: This world is a tillage land for the
Hereafter. He who sows good here shall reap good in the Hereafter; he who sows
evil here will reap evil in the Hereafter.' If all parents make every effort to
mould their children's childhood in the light of Islamic teachings, then only
will their adolescence and old age be secured, Otherwise a bleak future would
be staring at us. Remember, the life which commences with the name of Allah,
will if Allah wills, end in faith and success.
SADQA - E - JARIYAH:
Every soul has to depart from this world, on departure if he has left behind
good deeds which will be beneficial to mankind and a means of guidance to it,
even after death this soul will continue to receive rewards. These deeds
include providing drinking water, good roads, erecting Mosques, erecting
guesthouses and inns for travellers, erecting schools, madersas and religious
buildings, writing good books or purchasing these and leaving these in trust
for the benefit of others, etc. One of the charities in this group is leaving
behind pious children, whose prayers continue to provide rewards and salvation
for them after their death. The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said:
When a person leaves this world his deeds come to an end. but there are three
types of deeds which continue to be rewarded even after death, these are:
1. Sadqa - a- Jariyah;
2. Or leaving behind education from which mankind would be benefitting;
3. or pious children, who would continue to pray for their salvation.
Pious and well brought up children would be a source of joy for them in this
world by rendering obedient service to them, while after their death they would
providing them treasured prayers for their salvation. It is for this reason
every effort should be made to bring them up on the principles of piety and
GOOD TREATMENT OF GIRLS:
All children, whether boys or girls, deserve the best treatment, love and
kindness of their parents. In some homes equal love is not shown for girls and
the days of Ignorance - (JAHILIYAH) parents had shown biasness towards girls
and preference for boys because they Fathers considered the birth of a daughter
as a sign of shame and disgrace therefore females were buried at birth. In the
Holy Quran Allah Almighty has condemned this barbaric and heartless practice of
theirs in the following verse of Surah NAML (THE BEE)
And when the good tidings of the birth of a daughter is conveyed to any of
them, then his face remains black all along the day, he suppresses his anger.
himself from the people because of the evil of this good tiding. Shall he keep
it with disgrace or bury it in the dust? Lo, very bad they judge. (S16: VS
In our present times too, births of daughters is viewed with a great deal of
scorn and disgust because no real material benefits seemed to be obtained or
through them. However Islam has made it very clear to the believers that the
birth of a daughter and her proper upbringing is not only a challenge to the
parents but a glad tiding of obtaining tremendous divine rewards.
Hazrat Abu Dawood Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) report the
following instruction of the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him):
"In whichever home a daughter is born who is not buried alive like the
days of ignorance and is not looked upon as inferior, and a son is not given
preference over her, Allah Almighty will grant such people Paradise.
Bukhari and Muslim report the tradition from Hazrat Ayisha : (May Allah be pleased
Once a lady came to me accompanied by two daughters seeking assistance. At that
point in time I had piece of date she divided it between her two daughters
without eating any of it and left. When the Messenger of Allah came home I
related the incident to him. On hearing it the Messenger of Allah (Peace be
upon Him.) said: Those who have been placed under trying circumstances, through
these daughters, and treat them with love and kindness Allah Almighty will make
a cover for them from the fire of Hell.
In Sunan Abu Dawood and Tirmizi Shareef, Hazrat Abu Saeed Khudri reports the
following traditions of the Holy prophet: (Peace be upon Him)
`HE who bears the burden of taking care of three daughters, or three sisters or
two daughters and sisters and bring up with love, care and kindness. Then gets
married when they reach marriageable age, Allah Almighty will reward him with
ISLAMIC GUIDE TO THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
In his book: `Mish-alah-al-Irshaad ila Huquq-al awlad' Imam Ahmad Raza (May
Allah be pleased with him) writes regarding the education and training of
1. Even prior to the arrival of offspring it is their right that one
does not marry among irreligious and dishonorable people, because morality or
immorality is handed down through socialization.
2. Recite Bismillah before intimacy so that Shaitaan does not partner
the off spring.
3. During intimacy abstain from looking at the wife's private parts,
otherwise there is a fear that the child may become blind.
4. Immediately after the birth of a child recite Athaan in his right ear
and the Iqamah in his left ear.
5. Sweeten his mouth with honey, so that the sweet taste may sweeten his
6. On the seventh day or when possible perform the child's aqiquah.
7. Shave the child's hair from his/her head.
8. Weigh the child's hair and give to charity it's weight in silver.
9. Rub saffron on the child's head.
10. Name the child Islamically i.e. Abdullah, Abdul-Rahman, Ahmed,
Hamid, Hassan, Mohiuddeen, Moinudeen etc.
11. The mother herself should, otherwise a pious lady may suckle the
infant for two years. Milk also affects aspects of the infants personality.
12. Feed offspring with Halal foods from clean earnings as unclean foods
and earnings breed unclean habits.
13. Deal with Allah's gifts (children) with tenderness and mercy love
them, be compassionate with them.
14. Make their hearts happy within the limits of Allah's law.
15. Never make false promises to them.
16. Display equity, and justice among them.
17. The first sounds the infant is to be taught are the words Allah',
then La ila ha Illallah', then the full Kalema.
18. When the child reaches the age of intelligibility, then teach him
the correct etiquettes of eating, drinking, laughing, talking, sitting, walking
and teach him modesty,
respect for elders, reverance for parents, obedience to teachers and husbands.
19. Teach him the Quran.
20. Place him in the educational care of a good pious, Allah-fearing,
wise and experienced teacher.
21. For the girls arrange pious women teachers.
22. Quranic recitation must remain constant.
23. Teach them the true principles and beliefs of Islam and the Sunnah,
as a clean slate will be a natural and willing recipient of the Islamic nature
and the truth.
24. Place the love and respect of the Holy Prophet (Sallallaho- Alaihi
Wasallam) firmly in the heart of the child as this is the foundation of lman
25. When he reaches seven years of age, encourage him to perform salaah.
Explain to him the knowledge of the Islamic way of life like wudu, ghusl,
salaah, and the merits of perseverance, contentment, sincerity, humility,
truthfulness, trustworthiness, justice, modesty and the preservation of thought
26. Point out to your offspring the badness and negativity of greed,
avarice, excessive love of status and worldliness, pride, arrogance, lies,
abusive language, backbiting, jealousy and hatred.
27. Employ friendliness and softness when teaching and educating them.
28. Never allow bad companionship for your children.
29. Shield them from words, looks and an environment that conditions
towards badness because a tender stalk is easy to bend towards any direction.
30. When the child reaches ten years of age then employ a hiding if the
child is not willing to perform salaah.
31. At this age the child should have his own separate bed.
32. When they attain maturity have them marry.
33. If by ordering them, they disobey, then use softness and tact as a
means of mutual consultation.
34. Do not disinherit your offspring.
35. Teach male children reading, writing, and guardianship.
36. Teach them Surah Al Ma'idah.
37. Announce their circumcision.
FEW RIGHTS OF GIRLS ONLY
38. Do not show displeasure at the birth of a female child, in fact,
rejoice at the gift of Allah
39. Teach them to sew and cook.
40. Teach them Surah Al-Noor.
41 Display more affection to your girl children as they are softer
hearted than the boys.
42. When giving children anything, make no difference between boys and
girls distribute equally.
43. When giving anything, first give to the girl children and then the
44. At the age of nine years, keep especial custody over the girls.
45. Make their beds separate.
46. Do not allow them to gatherings that have song and dance.
47. Absolutely no permission should be granted for interacting with
48. The home is their abode.
49. Do not allow them on the balconies.
50. Within the home let them adorn themselves with clothes and jewelry
so that proposals of marriage may be made with enthusiasm.
51. When their match is found do not delay with the marriage.
52. Never marry them to an irreligious person, nor to a sinner, as this
is a right in favor of offspring established from authentic traditions of the
Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him).
In the light of the above points of guidance Insha-Allah the child will become
a true, Islamic personality. These are values and principles, however the
guardian should also constantly pray to Allah so that the activation of
behavior can be realized.
In fact Allah has praised those who make dua for their partners and offspring:
And there are those who say, Our Lord grant us partners and offspring who are a
source of coolness to the eyes (Surah Al Furqan verse 74)
At another Quranic verse the believer makes this dua:
and correct for me my offspring, verily I turn to Thee
and repent and verily I am a Muslim (Surah Al-Ahqaf V.15)
A POET INSPIRES:-
The world is enveloped in disbelief and irreligion
An honorable destiny seems unattainable
Oh youth, by truth and sincerity, Justice and compassion
Arm yourselves with Sayyidina All's sword, THUL FIQAR
History is decorated with your action
You are the lifeblood of the community
Is there then no brave caller to Truth
For whom even great rivers thirst?
May your ideas illuminate hearts
May your breath inflate gatherings
Awake, Nation of Islam, forward march!
Let the valleys echo with the sound of Takbir!
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